“False names are fun,” said Calo. “Call me Beefwit Smallcock.”
**this review contains mass amounts of quotes and fanart because I’m so inlove with these books and can’t get enough. You have been warned**
This is a tough review for me to write, mainly because I really love this series and consider it a favorite, so I had high expectations for this novel. However my expectations for this one were not met and I’m kinda disappointed. I really truly feel it is the weakest story in the series so far. Why? Well this book was BORING. Don’t get me wrong, I still really enjoyed reading it, but it wasn’t that fun to read and I found myself losing interest. It was actually kind of a chore. I think the reason why I didn’t enjoy this book as much, is due to the amount of politics and the fact that there is no complex scheme happening in the background, it didn’t have its usual excitement. I personally just hated the fact that the whole novel was basically about Lockes obsession for Sabetha an election and a goddamn play. There was no heisty goodness or any badassery. Like there wasn’t even a good FIGHT in this whole novel. It’s fucking blasphemy. I swear, I nearly died of boredom. I do however understand the importance of this novel to the overall plot line. Yes it was boring, however it was good and informative. We found out a lot about Lockes past and we also finally meet Sabetha. We also find out Lockes real name*insert incoherent screaming*, this is honestly the thing I’ve looked most forward to all series. So I still loved this special gem. I understand that Scott Lynch started suffering from depression during the making of this novel & that’s also the reason the wait on book four has been prolonged. I have a lot of sympathy for depression suffers and I’m really proud of Scott, he still managed to write such an amazing story while suffering internally. And I hope him a quick recovery.
“Three things must you kiss before I let you spook me for good. My boots, my balls, and my ass.”
The plot is a continuation of the last story. Locke is poisoned and dying slowly. Jean has hired all the physikers to have him healed, however the poison has gone too far. A mysterious stranger turns up on the doorstep with a cure. However the price for the cure is to work for the Magi of Karthain. Who Locke and Jean have a rocky past with. Locke soon finds out that his beloved Sabetha is also working for the Magi. So what will the Gentleman Bastards decide to do?
This is a tale of how Locke fell for Sabetha. It was quite cute like had me smiling so much my jaw was sore the next day and it was also extremely funny with LOADS of banter. So overall a okay book, I just hate romance and found this book to focus mainly on the romance, which just becomes boring for me, especially when you know how they end up because of the prior books mention of Lockes feelings for Sabetha. Speaking of Sabetha, I just have to say I really truly love Sabetha. I think she is amazing! I totally get why people hate her BUT I love her. I swear she’s exactly like Locke only more snarky. She’s perfection. Literally the most sassy character to ever exist.
“I try to live by a cardinal rule of our shared profession, namely, ‘always leave a sucker wanting more.’ ”
I love flashbacks to Lockes past with Chains for a few reasons, a)because the sass is strong. b) because of the Sanza twins. I love them so much. Especially Calo💕. “The hell you’ll do it,” said Calo. “You and that shaved head, you look like a vulture’s cock. This job calls for some elegance.”. c) Chains is hilarious & staunch. I love him “Touch either of my children again,” said Chains in a tone of voice unlike anything Locke had ever heard, “and I’ll break you into so many fucking pieces not a whore in the city will ever be able to figure out which wrinkled scrap to suck.” Seriously I’m so glad we had the flashbacks, if it wasn’t for the Sanza twins and the whack shit they say, I swear I wouldn’t have been able to finish this novel. Also there wasn’t enough Jean in this novel! I love him & missed him, yeah he was there but he didn’t do much. Jean chapters are normally my favourite chapters.
“Jean poured two glasses of wine and set one in front of Locke. He took a swig from his own. It tasted like something out of a tanning vat. “Ah,” he said, “demonic ass-wash. Just the thing.”
The ending was amazing, especially the last ten pages. Like I wish the whole book was as exciting as that ending. Can book four, PLEASE HURRY UP. The suspense is already killing me.
Recommended to all fantasy fans. 15+ due to the amount of swearing & fuckery.
“More Camorri than you’ve ever seen in your fucking life. Not just us, or the other three currently toiling on your behalf on the other side of this pimple of a city. I mean big, unreasonable, cross-eyed motherfuckers straight out of the wombs of hell, and they’ll take you for a ride. Locked in a box, ten days, all the way to Camorr sloshing in your own piss.”
All fanart used in this review is by Kejablank
Review by Luna.